to the new year.

I don't even know where this year has gone. So much has happened, so many emotions - so many highs, so many lows I never knew existed, sometimes I just don't know what to make of it all.

The year started off great, everything honestly was going my way. Getting in to Hwach was about one of the happiest moments in my life, topped off when I got into council. Then I got into OCIP Nepal as well (best trip ever). I was enjoying this new experience, enjoying meeting new people, doing things I never really got to in my 10 years in SC.

Then life started catching up to me. Blocks were a big fat wake up call for one. The stress of having to juggle so many things, having too much on your plate, not knowing how to handle it. MAF, promos, PW, friends.

I miss my friends so much. I miss being able to run to them the moment something goes wrong and they will make me feel okay again, happy. Sure I have friends now too, but these people I have barely known for less than a year, sometimes it just doesn't feel right to burden these people with the problems you think you have. It's not that I don't trust the friends I've made this year, I do, but somehow the relationships formed are different. I really don't know how to describe it, but maybe that's why I am always confusing myself.

2.38am right now. Always this period of time where I emo a little. I can't say I absolutely hate this year, though I do think JC is a real bitch. It feels like one of those years that I will look back on and laugh about how I was stupid and way too emotional, and then be thankful for it. Thankful for lessons I have learnt, thankful for hard times that help me sieve out how my friends really are, thankful for unforgettable experiences - there were many good times when I think about it, thankful that it is over and at least I have another year to look forward to.

2012, please don't kill me.