Do you ever get that feeling that sometimes you are so insignificant as compared to some people you know?
Or that feeling when you envy something so much and you just want to be a part of it, or you wish that it could be like that for you because of what you hear other people say?

I think I've kind of been having that feeling for the whole year, that's somewhat why I haven't been enjoying it. But it just feels great, when you have those moments when you realise that there's something about that person or thing that you want that makes you appreciate yourself again. It's not as if there's something terribly wrong with it, it's just that you realise it's not the type of person you want to be, or you realise that it's not like what people say it is.

That's what I found out a few weeks ago. I somehow envied how some people can manage their time so well, do well in studies, be popular, etc. Then one day, BAM. I noticed something that just suddenly made me proud to be me and that I wouldn't want to be anything else other than that. I guess it has to do with the values that you live by, everybody has different values, and when I realised that the person that I kind of envied's values are just different from mine, it really just stopped me from envying that person.

Then, the whole year I have felt totally out of place in class. Like whenever there's free time, everybody would just break out into their cliques, and I wouldn't have one, so I'd end up doing work instead, which is just sad and I hated it. Then I always hear how the other class is so enthu, and they're the most bonded class in the level and such. And I kind of envied them, thinking that they were the 2GY of 2008. But then I had to sit in that class for a day for enrichment, and then I realised it totally wasn't like 2GY. Yes, they probably are bonded and are enthu, but the people who make up that class are not like the people that 2GY had. It's not a bad thing really, it's just a difference. And then I realise that I am thankful for my class now, if I had been there, I think I'd be worse off than I think I am now.

So my lesson is learnt, no matter who it is, what it is, there's always flaws, or just differences that makes you special.

But then again, there are the people who I have yet to find flaws of. The people who seem so talented, intelligent, popular and whatever, the whole package as people may call it. I mean, there are so many people who just admire them. Like really, really admire them. First hand experience. And I just wonder, how the heck do people do that? That is something really wow.

But till I figure out how, I still love me (: